Day 4: April 16, 2010 Part Deux

Good Morning from Springfield, Mo! Did you know that Brad Pitt was raised here? True story. Where did I leave off? Oh yes. St. Louis. We drop Katie off at her hotel and get the heck out of dodge. Sadly, it was hours later before we realized we left the Underpants behind. I'm devastated and begin to silently weep. Just kidding on the weeping part. We are totally hitting them on the way home. Here's a picture from the web to whet your undergarment appetite. Dude, they're filthy! That's delightfully gross. You can't see it in the picture, but the little brown sign in front of the tighty whities is handwritten in red marker and says, "Do not touch the underwear!" Okay then. Perhaps they need to build the world's largest washing machine to clean those suckers.

We drove through the Missouri Ozarks last night in the dark. There wasn't a whole lot to see and we really wanted to get some miles behind us. I didn't realize there were rednecks in Missouri. The terrain actually reminded me a little of West Virgina except less hilly and the people weren't as friendly. We had to take a detour through a really, really back road. That was awesome, except for the ratty looking possum that darted across the road. Do you think they have possums in hell? Is anyone's favorite animal the Opossum?

We've learned that Missouri doesn't embrace their Route 66 heritage like Illinois does. They do have Route 66 signs though. Thank the road trip gods for signage. Now that we're out of Illinois, Katie doesn't hate it. I don't think we're going to make it all the way across Oklahoma today. That's ok. There are a couple of really cool places to stay. We tried to stay at two vintage motels last night, but in the first the office was closed and the the second one, which had the most awesome neon sign I'd ever seen was full. :-( We were so tired we stopped at a Courtyard by Marriott. It was a little pricier than we'd have liked but so far we're well below our lodging budget. We check in about 12:30 and the parking lot is full. We ask if they're always this busy and the lady behind the counter says no, they have a couple of groups tonight. Immediately alarmed, Katie asks if they are drunk and rowdy and they girl says she shouldn't think so, it's a Pentecostal Woman's Retreat!! We all bust out in loud guffaws. We go up in the elevator and we see a sign for room service. Katie exclaims in an exaggerated southern voice, "This is a HOtel not no notel MOtel!"

It didn't have any character, it was entirely too pricey, but man those Courtyard beds were comfy.

Day 4: April 16, 2010

Bat Update: Wind turbines do affect bats that migrate, however, the drop in air pressure around the turbines causes a condition comparable to the bends, their lungs "explode" and they essentially drown. Nice, huh? For those of you who would like more information, I have thoughtfully provided the following links here and here

Back to the Trip:

We left the Route 66 Hotel in Springfield, IL at what seemed like the butt crack of dawn and headed over to Lincoln Family mamausoleum. (Guess what? We're watching a show about Lincoln right now. Guess what else? Lincoln died April 15, 1865. We missed the 145th anniversary of his death by one day).

The weather had turned from bright and sunny to cool, gray and rainy. Lincoln’s tomb was a marvel. Really. One of the interpretive plaques suggests the county poured all of it’s collective grief into the building of this monument. I can now speak from personal experience and definitively say that Americans in 1865 were indeed very sad. Not only were they really bummed about Lincoln but the Civil War and Lincoln’s role in ending the hostilities were on their mind. On the second level- yes, folks, this thing has levels- there are bronze statues of what look like soldiers involved in skirmishes all around the perimeter. Also, carved into the second level stone, which I think is granite, are the abbreviations of all the states that had joined the union at the time of the monument’s erection. We REALLY wanted to stand next to the giant Del and give our home state props, but the second level was closed. We were enveloped in sadness.

Out front there is a huge bronze bust of our esteemed 16^th president. He has a very shiny nose. Lots of people rub it for good luck. I love Lincoln and all, and he was great many things in life, but I can’t say lucky was one of them so this tradition confounds me. Katie says not to tell you, but she not only rubbed his nose, she picked it. She’s a deviant. Shhh, it’s our little secret.

As soon as we pulled into the cemetery the mood turned sober and introspective and once we walked inside the monument it was even more so. There was a long hallway covered in brown marble and leading to the room where Lincoln, his wife Mary Todd Lincoln and three of their four sons (who died in childhood) are buried. Mini bronzes of the many Lincoln statues that exist in larger form elsewhere in the country are interspersed along the hallway. I took a picture of each one. Katie though I was being excessive. I just read this to her, and she wants me to tell you the excessive part came from taking 2 or 3 of each one. What? I can always delete them later.

I wouldn’t be a museum educator if I didn’t at least mention that the interpreter inside the tomb was AWESOME. He did a great job of reminding people that Abraham Lincoln was a real person, not just a national treasure. I will love him forever for remarking, with a hard edge to his voice, “that people say Mary Todd was insane, but remember EVERYONE is this room died long before her”. Dude, I’d be totally insane if most of my family died before me too. As an aside, he was like, 50 had had HUGE gauges in his ears. Katie said it gave him an edge. I don’t know what it gave him, but he was an interesting character for sure.

We left there and made our way immediately to a roadside shop that sold every kind of Lincoln souvenir imaginable. We wrote and mailed postcards to the kids and used the facilities. The bathroom was pretty cool. The walls were covered in wood paneling which had obviously been there awhile since there was graffiti carved into the walls. My favorite was “This place sucks!” and “April was here 1989”

It was late morning by now and we were back on the Mother Road and headed for the World’s Largest Ketchup Bottle.

That is not my designation. That’s what the fool thing calls itself. According to our guidebook it’s a 70 ft water tower sitting on a 100 ft stand. It’s freaking enormous. We were scanning the horizon looking for it and all of a sudden the road rose up and there it was! We screamed with delight. In order to fit the whole thing in the picture we had to stand across the street. This little side trip took us over an hour out of our way, but it was worth it. The kids are very excited to see our pictures of the bottle and underpants. I was desperate to visit Cahokia Monument State Park but it had really started to rain by now and I wanted to have time to explore the mounds so we’re going to hit it on the way back.

By this point in the day the theme has become disappointment. It’s taking forever to get anywhere and we’re afraid we won’t make it to California before we have to turn around. We’re forgetting it's more about the journey than the destination.

We leave the great condiment in the sky and made our way to St. Louis, still on Rt. 66 to meet up with my friend Katie who is currently in grad school at University of Indiana, Bloomington. I was bummed because we weren’t passing anywhere near that and I hadn’t seen her for like two years. Thankfully she saw my Facebook post and said she would be in STL for the Society of American Archaeology annual meeting and we should stop by and say hi.

On the way we stop at the Missouri Welcome Center. I bring in my camera just in case there is something to be photographed. Good thing I did! Here is Katie washing her hands in a FULLY automatic sink. I think she's reading the directions to make sure she's doing it right. You stick your hands under the hood, soap comes out, water comes on, you scrub then the dryer turns out all without you having to touch a thing. Someone in Missouri government must be a germophobe.

After I'm done with the photo ops I hand the camera to her while I go, and when I come out she takes a picture of me washing my hands and is promptly called out by a stranger for taking pictures in a bathroom. HA, HA! She, somewhat sheepishly, responds with "she's my sister" and we make like trees and leave. Sorry, Boo. I didn't mean to embarrass you.

We pick up Katie B at the conference center and made our way to the Arch. I don’t know what I was expecting but the Arch complex is much bigger than I thought. We lucked out and got a spot right in front of the Arch! How crazy is that? I also parallel parked! Go me! Rock On with my bad self! Actually it was really easy to park a 4 door sedan. Maybe it’s just mom-mobiles I can’t park. Props to Katie M for telling me which way to turn the wheel. We go into the Arch complex and get metal detected and all that jazz. So, there is a whole museum underneath this thing. I wasn’t too impressed. It was very light on interpretation and artifacts and heavy on big photographs and quotes plastered all over the walls. It was aesthetically pleasing, but in my opinion not very intellectually pleasing. Why go when I can get all those things in a book and read it comfortably at home?

Did you know it costs $10 to go up in this thing? I did not. I kind of expected it to be free like the Washington Monument. Whatever. It’s only 10 bucks and when are we going to be here again?

By the way, how many people have uttered that very sentiment and ended up broke at the end of their trip having been nickeled and dimed to near bankruptcy?

So we make our way to elevators taking us up and it’s something out of a low budget sci-fi show. There are large rectangular doors starting at the bottom and going up a flight of stairs about a story and a half tall. Not that my beloved Star Trek is low budget, but I seriously thought they looked like escape pods from The Enterprise. Katie B confessed she was thinking the same thing! Actually now that I think about it, they really reminded me of the escape pods from Space Ball One. Anyway, each of the large gray doors has a smaller door cut into it. The arch workers queue us up in front of them and had us watch a short film a la Disney World. The doors open and to revel a pod with six swiveling seats. All of us wonder how we’re going to fit in them. No worries, we manage to squeeze ourselves in and up we go. There is nothing to see on the way up except the guts of the arch.

When we get out we walk up some more steps to the observation deck. Whoa! The floor rises on one end to the center declines on the other end. We were definitely at the top of the arch. It made me dizzy. Pukey. And giddy all at once. There are teeny, tiny windows to look out of both sides. I finally saw the Mississippi River!! And a barge! And our car! Katie B sees her hotel and the baseball field!

We come down and try to get a picture of us in front of the arch. It's too freakin' big! For the 487th time this trip I'm wishing I had a wide angle lens for my camera.

Check me out! I'm standing IN. YES!! IN. the Mississippi River. Ignore my hugely swollen feet. I swell bad when sitting in the car for too long.

This was a very long day. Part 2 tomorrow. It's 2:00 in the morning here and I can't stay awake a minute longer. We're close to Oklahoma and Katie B assures us as we move west the road really opens up and it moves a lot faster. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Good Night, Friends

Music: Flo "The Ho", Ton Loc, L.L. Cool J, the Proclaimers, Alan Jackson, The Bee Gees

Day 3: April 15, 2010

Last night we stayed at a Hojo near O'Hare airport and at 6 am this morning we drove back into the city to eat a a highly regarded dinner called Lou Mitchell's. You can read about it here: http://www.loumitchellsrestaurant.com/ Of course I didn't take my camera into the restaurant so I couldn't take any pictures. We parked in a pay lot since neither one of us can parallel park (hear that Delaware? Your Driver's Ed is lacking. Step it up, please.) and a very nice elder Chicagoan helped us find our way and made sure no one parked too close so we'd be able to get out. Once we told him we'd never been to Chi-Town, he couldn't help but share with us how much he loves his city. He had some crazy accent I couldn't place. Maybe Greek? I didn't want to ask him where he was from originally since he so clearly identified Chicago as his home.

So we walk a block to the restaurant and already I'm noticing a difference between this Midwestern city and those of the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic: the people are more friendly and although they are trying to maintain that disaffected urban persona I can tell deep down they are curious about their fellow citizens. The whole place just felt much more friendly, especially when measured against Philly. All of the above applies to everyone except for the homeless guy who asked us for change and when we told him we didn't have any (for reals, people) he told us it was okay to have a heart and think about the homeless sometimes. Actually, he didn't just tell us, he shouted it at us all. the. way. down. the street.

Katie ordered "Melt Away" pancakes, sausage and milk and I ordered a "mushroom special" omelet, hash brown and Earl Grey tea. The Melt-Away moniker was well deserved, as these pancakes practically dissolved in the mouth. My omelet was served in a skillet and had tomatoes, spinach, swiss cheese, and mushrooms. They were served with hash browns that were cut like scalloped potatoes. I put a little Tabasco on everything and it was heaven. We ate around 7 a.m and didn't stop for lunch until 2:30. We were totally stuffed.

The other element I noticed that was different in Chicago than other places was people are LOUD! We could barely hear each other talk across the table during breakfast. The place was smaller than the Charcoal Pit, but three times as loud. I asked our waitress, Audrey, if it was always this loud and she said it was actually one of the more quiet times of the day.

Maybe Chicagoans just really love their breakfast.


So we hit the bathroom, pay, and leave to find Lake Michigan. This, I'm said to say, is where my navigation skills completely leave me. We drove in the opposite direction for about 20 minutes before we realized there was no lake in sight. Turns out it was right around the corner from where we had breakfast. Duh. We finally find the Great Lake and park illegally at Navy Pier for literally 3 minutes which was long enough to get pictures of the water and the skyline.


Here we are at Lake Michigan. I'm on the top and Katie is on the bottom.

We then spend the next 2 hours driving around Chicago trying to find Route 66. We finally find it. Yay!! Then we lose it. Then we find it again Hooray, we rock! Then we lose it again. We suck. We went through this all through the western Chicago suburbs.

The whole way Katie was driving and making this face. She looks thrilled, no? Once we had cleared Chicago and all it's environs, we were able to follow 66 much better. Thank goodness someone in Illinois thought of marking the historic route, 'cause otherwise we would have taken 900 times longer to get here.

Where is here you ask? Springfield, IL. Land of Lincoln. People, this place is Lincoln crazy. Tomorrow on the way out of town we're going to stop by his grave and pay our respects. He was a pretty awesome president and all. We drove literally all day and only made it less than 300 miles out of Chicago. We did stop and see a couple of the famous Muffler Men which was pretty exciting. We're staying at the Rt 66 Hotel which is, surprisingly, Route 66 themed. This is what it looks like. I'm sorry for the crappy picture. These are all SOC shots (straight out of the camera) and in most cases they're shot from a moving car (except in this case- that would be weird) Anyway, my point is I haven't had time to edit them. Forgive me?


The room is clean, and the bathroom is HUGE which I always appreciate. I think we may be the youngest people staying here. I mentioned something to the young guy at the front desk about the large number of gray hairs milling about and he confirmed my suspicions: The Route 66 Hotel is a popular stop on the Retirement Super Highway. In case you didn't know old people are rowdy when they're on vacation. Just sayin'.

Cool things we saw on the way here:

The Gemini Giant Muffler Man Statue outside the Launching Pad, a burger joint in Joliet, IL. That's me in between his legs. Hee hee.

Another Giant Muffler Man

According to the sign next to him, all these guys were built from the same Paul Bunyan mold. Originally commissioned advertise the Paul Bunyon (sic) cafe in Arizona. I think later more were built and placed in front of service stations and the like and were from then on known as "Muffler Men" to If you look carefully at their hands you can see they are supposed to be holding axes not a rocket ship and a hot dog. They're super duper cool. I want to have one in my front yard.

The Blues Brothers

According to my guide book, Jake got his nickname of Joilet Jake from being in Joilet prison, and the inspiration for Ellwood's name came from the nearby town of Ellwood. We later drove through Bloomington, which was the hometown of Henry Blake from M*A*S*H. I think the author of our guide book may have trouble separation reality from fiction when it comes to the Mother Road.

Marilyn Monroe

James Dean

Betty Boop

All of these statues except the Muffler Men were at the Polka Dot Dinner. It was closed but we weren't looking for food. Only photo ops.

4 clocks at a Burger King near the Ohio-Indiana border. They are labeled from left to right: Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois. Someone from the Midwest please tell me why Burger King thinks the motoring public cannot tell time, nor add or subtract.

You may not be able to see them, because they are the same color as the sky and kind of far away but there was an entire field full of wind turbines near Bloomington, IL. A wind farm, if you will. I heard a story on NPR about wind farms messing up the migration patterns of bats. I wonder if that's the case here. I'll have to look it up.








Okay people, I love you and I LOVE blogging, but I have to get to bed. Our goal is to be on the road by 6am tomorrow and I am having a hard time putting the computer down. There is so much more I want to share with you but it will have to wait until tomorrow.


Peace Out

Music: Meatloaf, Beastie Boys, Tracy Chapman, They Might Be Giants, Flo "The Ho" (Katie's GPS), Madonna, Green Day

Peace Out

P.S. Look for the World's Largest Ketchup bottle and World's largest underpants tomorrow. I can't wait!!

Day 2: April 14, 2010

We're now 36 miles outside of Cleveland and I'm hoping to get a glimpse of Lake Erie, but it's not looking good. I've never seen the Great Lakes. Maybe we can drive by Lake Michigan on the way out of Chicago tomorrow. Katie is AMAZED at how many Estes trucks there are on the road in Ohio. We even saw one with three pups!! Wow! She had always heard it was possible, but had never seen it. It was quite a thrill since her heart will always belong to the Big E. I feel, at this point, like I am driving with a three year old boy. We started the license plate game and Katie is winning. Punk. I've noticed that my travel buddy turns up the radio when I sing. Hmmm. Maybe I have be louder so that she can hear my awesome singing voice. Who wants to listen to Madonna when you have me in the car? I'm totally like the next Lady Gaga. Even the gospel singing sistah in the toll booth can't compete with Me.

We have just passed the third service plaza in Ohio that looks like the same as the first. It's like they're the Stepford Wives of travel plazas. I disdain your mediocrity, Ohio!

When I was driving this morning Katie turned around to get something in the back seat and her butt was facing the windshield. I couldn't help but wonder that in the event of a collision would one exit the vehicle through the windshield butt first or would it merely bounce off? Perhaps the Mythbusters can tackle this very pressing issue.

Okay, I've done a very scientific study and there are definitely more Michiganders driving along I-80 than Ohioans. What's up Buckeyes? Letting the your friends from the north hone in on your territory? Just kidding Ohio. You know I love you. We almost moved there, after all.

Finally, we've left Ohio in our dust and we are now in... Indiana. We are Hoosiers! Wow. There is nothing in this state except for fields and roads, and those freaky alien looking irrigation systems. Katie just got Florida and California. It's okay, I got New York at one of the Stepford service plazas a while back. Try as I might, I don't have much to say about you Indiana. Except until we get to GARY!

My people, although Gary is the birthplace of Michael Jackson and the home of the world famous Railcats, it smells like moldy feet. It is the most depressing place I've every been. No wonder why MJ always grabbed his crotch. You gotta find your happy place somewhere and I'm guessing his was never in Gary. When we were in Italy I heard Naples referred to as the armpit of Europe. I suggest, therefore, that Gary, Indiana is the armpit of North America. Katie says it looks like Delaware City. I'm thinking it's more along the lines of the illegitimate love child of Claymont and Delaware City. On steroids.

Other than trying to check in to the wrong HoJo in Chicago we're doing ok. I'm going to bed. We're getting up super early and picking up Route 66!!

Music: Madonna, Carol King, Joan Baez, Country Radio

Peace Out

Day 1: April 13, 2010

We left home about 10:30 thinking, albeit too optimistically, we could get to Chicago in one night. "It's only 12 hours!" we said. Katie was driving, and the fog combined with construction made for an exhausting drive. I woke up at some point to hear her muttering about "God damn trippy reflectors" on the road dividers. The next morning I was packing up the car and there was coffee paraphernalia strewn all over. Her only explanation was a grunted "It was a rough night".

I kept offering to drive, but I'm thinking I may not be the only one in the family with control issues. She did an awesome job of driving and letting me rest, even turning off the radio at one point so I could sleep. I really couldn't ask for a better traveling companion.

Music: Tom Petty, Allman Brothers, and old school Metallica when things got really rough

The Beginning

Hello Everyone!

Welcome to the Kelly-Kate Great American Road Trip! I'm Kelly and my traveling companion, Katie, who also happens to be my sister, are taking 2 weeks to drive across the country, and while we're out here we want to see as much of it as we can. We are usually well behaved, responsible adults who both have families, but this past Sunday we decided to throw caution to the wind and take the road trip we've always dreamed of.
I take an insane amount of pictures, usually of weird and offbeat things that I love to share with anyone who will look and listen so a blog is the perfect place to house them all, plus keep a log of our adventure.

So, long story short, I'm taking a crazy, unplanned trip from our home in Delaware to Los Angeles with my equally loony sister and I'm blogging about it because it feeds my inner narcissist.

Hope you enjoy the journey as much as we are.

Thanks for stopping by!

Kelly